A sermon about forgiveness may seem like an odd choice for Homecoming Sunday, but if we neglect the spiritual discipline of forgiving those who have wronged us, it is hard to live out our Christian Faith.

Seventy-Seven Times

Romans 14:1-12  Matthew 18:21-35 

Sunday worship always gets off to a nice start: we listen to the prelude, hear the ringing of the bell, are welcomed by a member of the congregation, speak the Call to Worship together, and sing a hymn. And then comes the prayer of confession. Why do we usually offer a prayer of confession so early in the service?

The answer is, I think, that we want to come before God with clean hearts and clear consciences. We do not want our misjudgments, selfish choices, or foibles to get in the way of our worship and prayer, so we confess them at the outset, and receive what we call in our tradition, “assurance of pardon.” That’s when I say something like “God’s mercy is always greater than our transgressions, and we are a forgiven people.”

I sometimes wonder if people really believe me when I say those words, or more importantly, whether they believe God. We live in a culture, after all, that emphasizes that people get what they deserve – whether that means that they are rewarded for their hard work or punished for their poor decisions. Christianity’s belief in God’s mercy turns that conviction upside down: God does not always give us what we deserve; God often gives us more than we deserve, especially more mercy and more forgiveness. Sometimes, I think, people even have a curious kind of pride, a belief that their particular shortcomings, errors, and poor choices are somehow worse than everyone else’s, and that God’s mercy will therefore be limited for them – though not for everyone else.

The prayer of confession is important because it embodies one of the two great spiritual disciplines of forgiveness that are part of Christian life: the belief that God forgives us, and the practice of forgiving others. Accepting God’s mercy is not incidental to faith, but central. We acknowledge God by receiving God’s gifts, and one of the greatest of those gifts is the gift of forgiveness.

It is the Lord’s Prayer that holds both of these disciplines together: “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors…” Or maybe you say “trespasses” or “sins.” Whichever word is most familiar to you, the meaning is the same: we are called to be merciful to others just as God is merciful to us. And in the passage we heard this morning from the gospel of Matthew, Jesus makes the point in a parable.

It is interesting that the parable is about money. And it is unfortunate that the translation we heard fails to express the amounts of money that are involved. The first debt is for ten thousand talents. Scholars believe that a talent was equivalent to about 15 years wages for a laborer, so that ten thousand talents would be equivalent to 150,000 times a year’s wage – a ridiculous amount of debt for any servant or slave to have incurred, let alone to have had forgiven. In contrast, the second debt is only a hundred denarii, where a denarius is about one day’s wage. The mercy of the king is huge, and the failure of mercy in the slave is all the more dramatic.

If you were listening carefully, you may have been disturbed by the words at the end of the parable: “And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” [Matthew 18:34-35] The image of God torturing people who fail to forgive others is a deeply unsettling one.

Let me suggest this morning, though, that these words were also chosen for drama, and have something to teach us that is not about God inflicting pain on humans. I urge you to hear these words as being descriptive of a great truth, and not prescriptive of a great punishment. The truth is that when we withhold forgiveness from those who have harmed us, we are often tortured – not by God’s action, but by the erosive and corrosive power of un-forgiveness in our own hearts and souls.

When we have been wronged, when someone has sinned against us, or trespassed against us, or owes us a debt, we have several choices, and most of them are not healthy. We can retaliate, which only results in prolonging the wrong. We can chew on our anger and resentment, which will result in spiritual indigestion. We can withdraw from contact with the person, which impoverishes our web of relationships. Or we can forgive. Forgiveness may not be easy, but only forgiveness saves us from the ongoing distress of retaliation, resentment, and estrangement.

And forgiveness is particularly challenging when the offense against us has been repeated, habitual, or chronic: when a friend humiliates us, again and again; when a child makes poor decisions repeatedly; when a trusted institution cheats us; when a spouse or partners is unfaithful. When these things happen to us, we ask the same question that Peter asked: “How often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” [Matthew 18:21]

Before we hear Jesus’ answer, let’s be honest: it is not easy to forgive. It is truly a spiritual discipline, one that requires time, healing, and prayer. It requires us to find a generosity of heart when it does not come naturally. Let me remind you – though I believe you already know – that forgiving is not the same as forgetting, it is not the same as accepting behavior that is unacceptable, it is not the same as giving permission to misbehave again, and it is not agreeing to make yourself vulnerable again to the other person. Forgiveness is the action of the heart that lets go of a wrong so that it no longer encumbers the spirit.

And because forgiveness is difficult, it is somewhat discouraging to hear Jesus say that seven times is not enough. In some translations he says “seventy-seven,” and in others “seventy times seven.” Either way, Jesus is not asking us to keep a tally of how often we forgive, either to a total of 77 or to 490. He is asking us to cultivate a habit of forgiveness, a way of living in which we are not hobbled by our remorse, resentments, or estrangements. He is asking us to be so centered in our faith that we are not significantly distracted by the harmful actions and choices of others. He is asking us to be proactive in ending disputes in a way that will make room for reconciliation if that is possible.

It may seem odd to begin our congregation’s program year by focusing so much on confession and forgiveness. It would be more upbeat to talk about love and hope, about healing and reconciliation, even about justice and peace. In fact, forgiveness is often what makes it possible to love and hope, to heal and reconcile, to achieve justice and peace. God’s forgiveness makes us free to move in the world as faithful disciples; our forgiveness makes it possible for us to move in the world as companions to one another and neighbors to all.

Forgiveness is an entirely appropriate place to begin.

Prayer for September 14, 2008

Almighty and everlasting God, creator of all things seen and unseen, hear now our silent prayers, as we open our hearts to you in the sacred quietness.

God of faith and hope, we bring before you our prayers for those we have named this morning – we especially remember … Bring to each of them the gifts of mercy and grace that are most needed, according to your wisdom and love.

God of all time and history, we come to you today in prayer for the all that September brings.

God of faith and learning, we ask your blessing for the teachers and students who are returning to their studies, for the staff who make their work possible, and for the families who support all of them. We pray for open and curious minds, careful scholarship, compassionate understanding, respectful analysis, and collaborative learning. Make our schools and colleges places where the truth does, indeed, set people free – free from prejudice, free from vengefulness, free from ignorance, and free to work for justice and peace.

God of the harvest, we pray today for farmers and farm workers, for all those who labor to bring food to our tables. Keep us mindful of the hard physical effort that is required, along with the gifts of soil, water, and sun, to keep us well fed. And empower us, we pray, to care for the workers and the land so that these blessings may come to our children and our grandchildren to many generations.

God of public life, we pray today for those who are running for office, those who work on their behalf, and all who will vote in this year’s election. Let debate be respectful and constructive, let differences be aired and evaluated, and let the welfare of the least among us be the highest priority for those who serve you, whether in the church, the community, the nation, or the world.

God of all the faithful, we dare to ask your blessing on the coming year for our church, our Sunday School, and all our programs of worship, nurture, care, and justice. Help us to see and hear, speak and act faithfully in your name, and to bring the good news of peace and hospitality to a world that is so hungry for both of these blessings.

All these things we pray in the name of the one who lived among us as our brother and lives among us still as our risen Savior, even Jesus the Christ, and we pray now together with words he taught us …